


Liquor at Midnight

by abeac



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abeac/pseuds/abeac
Summary: Ethan drinks his sorrows away after realizing he missed his chance.
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart), Rafael Aveiro/Main Character (Open Heart)
Kudos: 5





	Liquor at Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still on the "break my own heart" train xx

She had been gone for a few years and it was during that time that she moved on from Ethan while he simultaneously fell even harder for her. She hadn’t told him she was leaving and she didn’t say goodbye, she just upped and left one day and everyone but Ethan knew about it beforehand. 

Ethan had managed to learn that she was partaking in a clinical fellowship at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, nearly seven hours away from Edenbrook. He'd used his connections to find out everything he could, he was told the fellowship focused on critical care medicine and was expected to last two years. 

It was during these two years that Ethan missed her every single day, he missed her both professionally and personally. He missed her compassion and determination when treating patients. He missed her charming sense of humour, steadfast persistence and unwavering loyalty. He missed the eyes he lost himself in, the kisses that always left him wanting more and the smile took his breath away. 

Every day during those two-years, Ethan considered what he would say to her when she returned. He thought about what he’d do, he wanted to hug her tightly and then kiss her till their lungs screamed for air. He counted down the days with anticipation. But, after two years, she didn’t return. 

Ethan wondered about her whereabouts for six months before finally overhearing a video chat between her and her friends. From what he could gather, she’d been offered an incredible opportunity at the Mayo Clinic and accepted within hours. 

Finally, after an additional three-years, Ethan saw her in Edenbrook’s corridors and he nearly fainted. His lung felt liked they’d collapsed and he swore his heart stopped beating briefly before initiating overdrive and racing. 

She hadn’t changed much, and even if she had, she would still own his whole heart. The glimmer in her eyes had somehow grown brighter and her smile had grown. Ethan noticed some slight differences in her body, but his observation was only due to the experience he had exploring her. 

All the time he’d spent thinking about when and how to approach her, what to say and what to expect disappeared as his mind went blank. Ringing overtook his ears, his eyes were wide and his jaw was agape as he stared at her with awe and surprise.

Suddenly, a toddler appeared in Ethan’s vision. The child ran towards her with open arms and a large, mischievous grin. Her cheerful demeanour increased ten-fold as she saw the toddler and engulfed them into a tight embrace. A familiar man with dark features joined their side with an infant in his arms, Ethan recognized him nearly instantaneously.

Ethan’s limbs suddenly weighed significantly more and his body throbbed with an all-too-familiar pain. At that moment, he knew he’d run out of chances long before he realized it. He’d been careless with the opportunity to love her and his time to correct his mistakes had depleted. Ethan didn’t need anyone to tell him what he was witnessing, he knew immediately that she’d moved on, accomplished incredible achievements and grown onto a life stage foreign to Ethan. 

The toddler, who looked like equal parts his mother and father, giggled loudly as his mother adorned him with kisses and tickles. Ethan watched the family wistfully before averting his gaze to his chart in his hand and returning to his patients.

Hours later, despite no longer being in her presence, his mind was still entirely focused on her. He was feeling a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, including remorse, envy and pride. Immense regret filled him to his core when he thought about how he’d toyed with her. He was jealous of Rafael for creating a picturesque life with her. He was proud of her for leading a promising career while somehow concurrently growing her family. He was angry at himself for not loving her when he could’ve. He was curious about what their lives would have been like if he’d behaved better, acted sooner and loved her harder.

That night, he found himself seeking the only therapy that seemed to work for him - alcohol. He wasn’t sure if using booze to heal himself was a progressive treatment, but he knew that it was the only thing that seemed to help. Liquor, especially whiskey, was the only thing to take off the edge and numb the otherwise constant heartache. 

He sat in the same barstool at Donahue’s most nights, Reggie had stopped questioning the doctor’s motives for drowning his sorrows. He’d been able to piece together the puzzle when he noticed the absence of a certain resident. Ethan never talked to any other patrons, he simply downed his drinks until he could barely walk straight before walking home then repeating the regime the next night. 

Ethan could make out her voice over the mix of chatter, clinking glasses and music. His entire body tensed immediately and he ground his teeth while squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He told himself it was the alcohol, but even his drunken state of mind knew better. He swivelled in the chair slightly and somehow, despite the bar being crowded, he found her.

She sat at her friend’s usual table in a far corner, Rafael was next to her. Their entire crew, which had miraculously stuck together after years, jabbered loudly. Their laughter and babbles aggravated Ethan, partially due to their inconconsiderness of other patrons but mostly due to the loneliness strangling him. Ethan’s blood boiled and his heartfelt crushed as his eyes zeroed in on Rafael’s arm around her waist. He desperately wished he was the one holding her tight on a social outing before going home to their family.

Ethan watched as she hushed the group suddenly while lifting her phone from the tabletop. He recognized the face that appeared on the screen as her son’s. The young boy gabbled and gibbered as the entire friend group surrounding the screen to catch a glimpse of the boy. Each of them took turns talking to the youngster who seemed to bask in the attention.

Ethan chuckled. He found many things laughable, like the way the Mirani twins use their striking similar features to disguise themselves as one another. One thing equally as ridiculous is _her_ being with _him_. Unlike Ethan, he didn’t have a distinguished reputation or fruitful career, so what made her willing to date, marry and have children with him? Ethan wondered what Rafael had that he didn’t. 

He knew the answer but he didn’t want to admit it. Rafael had always been an honest, loyal and selfless person. He could be trusted to be truthful, transparent and supportive regardless of the situation. He would do anything to help another person, that much was apparent after the botched assassination attempt that found Rafael throwing himself into harm's way to protect others. To protect her.

Ethan knew, if anything, he should be grateful that she settled down with a good person who would care for her like no other. He was well aware that Rafael was infinitely better than him. He could see the man’s love for her as he gazed at her with endearment, he watched as Rafael held her hand and caressed her back throughout the night, he observed Rafael help her out of their booth that night after she’d had too many drinks. Rafael loved her better than Ethan ever could. Ethan knew he would never be able to stop loving her, he knew he’d always wonder but he knew that she was happier without him and that was worth everything. It was worth the aching heart, the tight chest and the inevitable throbbing headache he'd be the victim of tomorrow morning.


End file.
